Team Building and Collaboration, Part 1

 

Adjourning is usually easy for me because I do not allow myself to get close to many people. It is hard for me to form any kind of a bond with people. I do, however, believe that groups that have clear established norms are the hardest to leave.  The hardest group for me to leave would have to be my church. I grew up in my family's church but it got the point were we did not have the money to cover all the maintainance that we needed to take care of. We eventually had to let it go. It was the hardest for me because my entire family grew up in that church and most of my relatives, including my mother, are buried there. 

I have an issue when situations are not properly closed/ended or when I have unanswered questions.  That's the issue I've had with my mother's death. There were to many unanswered questions and so many things that did not make sense to me.  It would have been easier if I had had the opportunity to say good-bye.

In most of the groups I have have been in, there hasn't really been any official closing ritual outside of my high school and college graduations.  Those are the only official closing rituals that I have been a part of. 

Honestly I think the only thing I will say to my colleagues when I finish my master's degree is "good luck". It's easy to leave groups like this because you really don't take the time to get to know the other people in the group.

Adjourning is an essential stage of teamwork because it brings the entire experience to a close.  I think the most important parts of being in a team are the first and last stages where you get to know someone and then you say good bye. I is essential to everyone to learn ways of saying good bye and how to leave peacefully. It is also important to understand the importance of leaning while in the group and figuring out what important aspect can be taken and used in your everyday life.

Nonviolent Communication and Conflict Management

I am currently dealing with a disgruntled parent. It seems like everything I do for her child is not up to her standards.  Instead of communicating her issues with me, she emails the managers. This irritates me beyond measures.  If you have an issue with me or the way I run my classroom, bring it to me so that we can come to an understanding. Going to the managers is actually pointless since they are not in my classroom 24/7.  

One way that I have tried to fix this situation is by attempting to talk to her when she arrives. Although she says I do not communicate with her, I do try but it seems that no matter what I say, no matter how much or how little I say, she finds something wrong with it. 

Another solution I have tried is using written communication. I think it is easier to communicate with her through writing because then I have a record of what I have said. This ultimately gives me the upper hand because then she can not lie or change what has been said.

I also tried using here emails to the managers to my advantage. When ever she has an issue with me, I have them email her back. This also helps me because then the managers have all the information about every situation I face with this parent. 

What would you all suggest as a way of peacefully handling a parent who seems to have nothing but negative comments about everything that happens in my classroom? It honestly makes me want avoid her child because I know that no matter what I say or do, she will find some kind of issue with it.    

Communication Evaluated

One thing that surprised me is that my manager did not see me as a good communicator. I know I am not perfect but I thought I was doing a lot better communicating with people. Two other things I learned this week is that assumptions are hard to stop. I did not realize until this week that I made judgments about people based on how they were dressed and how they look. I thought that I was one of those rare few who did not judge until I got to know people. I also learned this week that I am people oriented. Honestly, I am more of a loner and only talk when I have to. Each of these might help me professionally and personally because it makes me more aware of who I am as a communicator. I now know what I need to work on to make me a more effective communicator.

Communicating Differently

I don't think I communicate differently with adults from different cultures. I do, however, communicate differently with children. I try to watch my tone and what I say around children. I also communicate differently with people I do not like or trust. It is so hard for me to have a conversation with someone that I either do not like or do not trust. I know I have an attitude but I try to control it and the things I say when I am around certain people. Outside of that, I talk to everyone the same. 

I also talk differently with my family and friends. I guess I open up more with people that I comfortable with. The things I say to my family and close friends, I can not say to children, co-workers, and families I work with. At one point it was hard for me to separate my personal and my business and the conversations but now it is just like an automatic switch that turns off and on depending on where I am and who is around. 

Communication Skills: Language, Nonverbal, Listening

For this assignment I watched Pit Bulls and Parolees. First I watched the show with the sound turned off. I thought that everyone on the show was related or at least friends based on their interactions. They all worked together and with the dogs. You could tell they all loved the dogs based on their interactions with them. There was a couple of times when I was confused because the mood and facial expressions changed and without the sound, it was hard for me to determine what the reason for the sudden change was. Through-out the majority of the show they all looked either happy or content but there were those times when you could visually see that they were mad. During those times, their facial expressions changed and so did their body language. 

Once I turned on the sound, I got a completely different picture. There was one owner who ran the entire operation. She had a couple kids and the rest of the people on the show were either parolees or volunteers. The times that I thought they were mad, they were actually upset about a dog who needed their help.   

From this assignment, I now realize, now more than ever, that nonverbal communication is just as important as verbal communication. Assumptions can can and will be made if either of these do not match up. For instance, if you are having a great day but you are frowning, people will automatically assume you are in a bad mood (it happens to me all the time).   

 

Competent Communication

             Someone in my life who demonstrated competent communication would have to have been my mother. She was a confident woman in everything she did. She know what to say to people and how to say it. She never said anything offensive or negative to anyone. When she spoke to people she always gave eye contact and faced the person. Her tone was non-threatening but confident.  I would definitely want to model some of my own communication behaviors after her.  She died three days after I graduated from college, December 16, 2008. I love and miss her and hope to be more like her.

 This is the last picture of my mother. It was taken right before my graduation ceremony..She  looked like an ANGEL!!!!